married woman

I don’t believe a good woman will date a married man-

No matter what she’s told. Let’s be honest, a man can say “we’re separated,” “she doesn’t understand me,” or “we sleep in different rooms” — but if that man still has a wife, then he is not available, he is not single, and he is not yours.

A good woman knows her worth. She knows that love built on someone else’s tears will never bring peace. She knows that no matter how lonely she feels, she’ll never settle for being somebody’s “in the meantime.” She doesn’t fall for bedtime stories told by a man who still wears his wedding ring when it’s convenient.

The truth is, women who go for married men often confuse attention with affection. But a good woman understands that a man who cheats on his wife will one day cheat on her too. There’s no such thing as “special treatment” in betrayal — it’s just recycled lies in a different voice.

A good woman would rather eat dinner alone than share crumbs from another woman’s table. She understands that real love doesn’t need to sneak around or hide behind excuses.

Because at the end of the day, when a woman truly values herself, she knows: if he’s married, he’s not an option — he’s a warning.

Mental Health with Omoye

prison overpopulation

It was a very futuristic setting. It dealt with prison over population. 

The way it was handled seems very possible to me. They took 10 percent of the population shaved their heads gave them absolute necessities they took them far out into the baren desert and dropped them off. There was no care of anyone trying to escape because if you left your group (usually 150 to 200) you most certainly would die. Knowing many would die along the way. They were given 1 month to cross the desert. As soon as they had completed their journey they returned to the prison and the next group was sent out. Always 10 percent of the population that way there was enough room to house. 

my story. by Dr jeppy pimple popper

So let me start with I'm almost 62 have gigantic boobs and mostly don't wear a bra.  Needless to say of anyone asks my size I say I'm a 48 long. If nipples were flashlights my feet would always be lit! I hate that! If I have to have long boobs why couldn't I at least have nipples on the front?? Seems fair to me. 

So anyway, I don't pay much attention to them anymore and am always surprised when I see or feel a place there has been a large zit. So Im laying in my bed unable to sleep and I moved my arm over my bare boob to grab the blanket when I felt a scratch on my arm. Immediately I returned to the scratchy spot to feel what was up, it was a scab from one of those random healing big zits, so I decided I should feel around to see if there were any more of them, because I love zits. Barely did I get away from the scab area before I felt it, there it was the mother of all boob zits! Instantly I whip off all blankets and grab my right boob with my left hand I lift it up using my right fingers to search for it and assess the size, there it is again it's huge! How was I not aware of something poking out this far from my boob? How could it be this sensitive and I didn't know it was there?? Omg! What if it's cancer? Should I get up and go look at it? Should I squeeze it? WHAT DO I DO???  My heart is pounding out of my chest, to my medical shows lately, I'm totally scared, what to do??? Just squeeze for you life, hope it breaks thru.   So I prepare myself even a little out loud speech of just grit your teeth and try to not scream. Thumbs in position both sides of this huge protruding lump and I begin to squeeze for my life, I even let out a little shriek, omg this was painful but it was gonna happen!! Finally couldn't take it, had to stop let go of the boob and layed there panting. Then got up the courage to give it a second go, began feeling around again very softly because now it hurts. 

What the hell?? Where did it go? Finally I find it, grab it, walk into my bathroom to see in the mirror this monster growing on me, and Burst into laughter when I find my protruding nipple between my fingers!! Lesson here, pay attention to your boobs, and your nipples, and if you are married and can't remember what it feels like to have your nipple touched, I say that's grounds for a divorce!! 

so self absorbed... I'm never prepared.

A few nights ago I did something dumb, silly and worthy of a good laugh.  At that moment I wanted to share with you. I don't know why you. Because I never learn that's why. So I tried calling, no answer, tried texting, answer came a couple hours late. Why? Because I'm no longer on the priority list. 

I've been waiting for the right time, I thought maybe tonight while you were drying off from your shower, you'd just slept MANY hours, so I asked if I could tell you a silly dumb funny thing I did. Your answer was yeah make it fast tho. Well that shut me down. I asked if you had somewhere to be, it's midnight, you raised your voice and repeated 3 times yes bed. I said nevermind we bickered that 5 second bicker of go ahead, no I don't want to, you went back to bed and put on another movie. So much for that! 

No!...... next time.

So tonight upon returning from work I came in to you getting out of the shower. I asking if you were coming or going, in always colorful words you said going. Going to get"gear". I responded with my test question, want company? You came back with an immediate NO! No,....... Next time. Then anger came. I'm just going over there I don't want to fuck around, not going anywhere Else, well to get myself food I'm hungry.  I tried not to say more but it didn't work. Finally I said so why is it I can't go? You reiterated louder and angrier because that would explain it to me for sure, yeah right. All it said to me was " because I'm a fucking liar" but turns out it should have Said I'm just a dick. So then angrily you bark at me fine then get your ass in the car if you're going. You know I'm not. You charge out of here and suddenly lynzee is in the doorway saying I'm just gonna ride with him then grab food on the way back. Really? I said, cause he just told me I couldn't go. 3 hours later I called to see if they were ok since he was in such a hurry Lynz said they were fine just got held up at the secret spot for an hour waiting. Got back here about an hour later. Where you promptly went back to sleep. What a life we live! Please go. Please just leave. This coldness is killing me. I keep trying to be nice to you ( with that 23yrs of my life and a beautiful angel daughter later) only to pull back a bloody stump. Tomorrow will be pretty easy, you work in the morning but you will stay gone as long as possible. I will leave before you get home with hopes that when I get back have I'm you you are asleep again. But then there's your laundry and the trash to take out. Lynzee isn't here to be your slave so you will do it with all the hate you have in you. Ahhh, good times, you know what they say about the definition of insanity! Yep that's my pic there!! 

its been so long since ive written my feelings.  today I say "what did I do?"  theres so much to be thankful for but it is all overshadowed by what im not.  maybe its just where im at, I never dreamed id be feeling like this at 52 yrs old, you just grow up thinking life will throw you its curve balls and you will miss some and some you will hit so dead on they will vaporize somehow leaving life just average and moving forward. that's what I want, just average, I don't think that's too much to ask.  but then maybe it is.
I feel so scattered all the time, pulled one way by this and another by that and another by this and another by that and and and and and ..... never being able to be a whole full thinking person able to take care of one thing at a time, too many things at once to concentrate long enough to accomplish one thing that will make a difference. 
I am ALL. I am the worker who cares to do a great not good job, I am the friend that wants to help  and hide my needs, I am the mom who wants to be loved and respected but cant ever seem to do "it" good enough seems one is always mad at me or disappointed in me. I am the daughter who cares more than the others and trys to help but not hurt their feelings or disappoint them, but id do.  I am a wife who worries too much about her husbands happiness and wellness, I am not stupid but have done stupid things for so long now that I cant even fix them, ive let him feel its ok to do nothing, to not spend any quality time with me, to never go anywhere with me, to not live life with me, just kiss me good bye when one of us leaves, never to kiss me any other time (only occasionaly), and that sleeping next to me with his hand on my stomach is "touching me" and that should be enough for me.  Asking him flat out to please touch me gets the response "I AM touching you! I lay right here beside you and put my hand on you!" I just cry in the dark.  I love him, but I cant say why.  he can make me laugh, I think I just live for those moments, he has done so much for me thru these years, he has given me a daughter that I love more than I could ever express, he writes on my tub that I am his rock, she is mine. she keeps me going and makes me not run away (not that I ever could, but we all feel that way sometimes) he has been a  good provider, he has provided a beautiful home for us, he used to randomly dance with me, he used to grab me and kiss me, used to slap my butt, used to grab my boobs, used to tell me I was beautiful (im not, I know that, but it felt good to hear from the man you love)we used to be great lovers, but medical problems have gotten in the way, when they were remedied someone else reaped the bennifits I so long waited for, now he gets help but doesn't remember to use it, I don't think it really matters.  I am no longer a woman, just a person to solve problems or "take care of" things and people, make money, just provide for the needs. that is all, that's it, no more.
Time for me to get me back, but how? how do I be a satisfied happy real woman ? theres only one way I know and that's just not me, I said my vows, and I remember them, I have so much temptation, yet I don't honestly feel tempted, theres only one man that I really want, and it hurts SO MUCH.

Life is great..........this week .

This is been a great week with my husband. He is making me believe that he really does love me. Its amazing how much the little things mean to me a touch, a kiss, a phone call, a text., and just a slap on the ass as I walk by. After his friend requested help next Monday building his greenhouse my man told him no he would have to help him Tuesday because Monday he needed to spend time with his wife that it was my day. At 2am this morning he called me from his very busy work to tell me that he wanted to take a moment out of his busy night to tell me that he loves me and that he's glad I'm his wife. All of the sex has been awesome I thought I was broken but he proved to me I wasn't! Yea! And this is a big 1 ...... He is kissing kissing kissing kissing kissing me! He must have read my mind I've been wanting him to kiss me more, wanting to tell him but not wanting to hear excuses why he doesn't. I feel good not totally secure though but will I ever be? I don't know I want to feel that way again so bad I just keep trying . The wound is still so fresh, I cringe every time I have to say that very common name out loud even when referring to many of my friends who share that name or a song that I love now destroyed because all I can think of is her when I hear it.  This is becoming my daily life I wake up in the morning thinking how can I keep her out of my head today please please just keep her out of my head! I will get there I know I will, and it will be with his help his love attention and devotion to me that will get me there. I believe in him I believe in us and I believe in our future he is my love.